David Murray
A father's notes from the decade after his son died.
A short introduction
In 2014, David Murray's son died after a brief, brutal illness. What followed was years of trying to understand why institutions so often fail grieving families. That search took him back to study, completing a Master's degree in Business Psychology, working with a charity supporting bereaved families, giving evidence to parliamentary inquiries, and attempting to engage the education department directly.
He writes on grief and what comes after at Beyond the Expected, and Decades is his first book.
Drafted from your Substack "About the Writer" post, check it reads the way you want before this goes live.
Decades, out soon
Cover art in progress
Written by David Murray
Decades: Living with the Loss of a Child
On New Year's Eve 2014, David Murray's fifteen-year-old son Ewan died from a condition so rare it had been recorded only once before in an Australian child. Decades: Living with the Loss of a Child is his account of the decade that followed. Not a chronicle of grief performed for an audience, but a father's attempt to record what he learned, in case it eases the path for someone walking it after him.
Across eighteen chapters, it moves from the acute shock of loss through the slower work of rebuilding: the biology of grief, the friendships that survive and the ones that don't, anniversaries, the search for meaning, and whether time really does heal. Written with restraint rather than raw exposure, it's intended as much for the friends and professionals standing beside a grieving family as for the parents themselves.
Dedication: “For Iona, so you may read it, and for Ewan, so you might know I wrote it.”
Eighteen chapters, three parts
The event
Ewan's death, and the days immediately after. What David calls, elsewhere in the book, the line between BC and AD.
What grief actually does
The bulk of the book. Friendships that fade and the ones that hold. Institutions, workplaces and mortgage applications that were never built for this. The biology of shock. Anniversaries, and the ordinary Tuesdays that ambush you harder than the marked dates do.
Living with it
Seeking help without shame. Finding people who understand. Not moving on, but building a life with the loss carried inside it rather than resolved.
Editions
Paperback and ebook, available worldwide through Amazon once publishing is complete.
Wide distribution for bookshops, libraries, hospitals and charities to order directly.
Links will be added here once the ISBNs are assigned and the accounts are live.
Writing on grief and life after
Ongoing essays and reflections
A year's worth of writing, published regularly. Read the latest posts.
Currently published as "Beyond the Expected" on Substack. If it's ever rebranded under your own name, this card is where that updates.